Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
