i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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