I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
