Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
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