to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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