shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
