problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
