week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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