Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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