He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
