i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
