I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize