Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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