i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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