He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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