Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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