It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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