she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
