I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We have so much sex to catch up on
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
