I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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