so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
