U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
