Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
