Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She announced her abortion via fbk
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Randomize
