dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The ass gains better be worth it
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