I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
