if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
