time to smoke my breakfast
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize