those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
