I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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