OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize