this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
