Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
