is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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