Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
