if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
