this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
