just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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