I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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