Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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