I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
