This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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