It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
