Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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