I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
porn star boner night. come get it.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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