Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
try to milk me bitch
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