So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm bleeding and have questions
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
