Plan B is the new Plan A
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
