do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
