Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We need to get me chipped asap
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