I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
