barbara walters just said penis...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
