I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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