Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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