i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
