Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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