The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
