i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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