I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
